Hell On Wheels

Long car trips with small children?

Mercilessly painful. We usually try to time them over nap time in hopes that the kids will sleep along the way.  

That's pretty much an empty hope, but we still shoot for that goal. 

Our 3 hour trip today? It's going something like this:

S: Momma, what you doing?

B: Momma Momma Momma Momma Momma

Me: Shhhhhh, it's nap time.

S: Daddy, what you doing?

B: Dada Dada Dada Dada

Me: Shhhhhh, it's nap time. 

S: Momma, what you doing?

B: Momma Momma Momma Momma Momma

Me: Shhhhhh. 

S: MOMMA, what you doing?

B: Momma Momma Momma Momma MOMMA!

Me: Shhhhhh. 

S: Momma, you sleepin? Huh, you sleepin? WHAT YOU DOIN MOMMA????

B: Momma Momma MOMMA MOMMA MOMMA MOMMA!!!

Me: *dead silence*

S: Momma, you hear me now? Daddy, what Momma doing?

B: Momma Momma Momma Momma Momma

J: Shhhhhh, Momma is trying to take a nap. 

S: Momma, what you doing? No nap! NOOOOOOOO, no nap!

B: Momma Momma Momma Momma Momma

Me: *pretending to snore*

S: Momma, WAKE UP! You wake now? We party!

B: MOMMA, GO NOW, MOMMA, MOMMA, MOMMA!!!

Me: I know! Let's play the quiet game. 

S: OK!

Me: OK, so here's how it goes. Whoever stops being quiet first, loses! so you have to be quiet to win, OK? Go!

*3 seconds lapse*

S: MOMMA, what you doing! You 'wake now???

B: MOMMA, MOMMA, MOMMA!!!

S: Are you drivin?

Me: No. I'm riding. 

S: Are you drivin?

Me: No. 

S: Are you drivin?

Me: You are driving me. 

S: Are you drivin?

Me: MAN, you are ornery!

S: I not on-rey, I funny!

Advantage: toddler. 

So much for "quiet time". 

Now, how long after you arrive at a family reunion can you declare "happy hour" without being judged??!

 

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