Lotion Lunatic

Sweet holy mercy mother of pearl!

I swear by all that is precious, they're trying to break me.

On Friday I had neck surgery to try to get rid of the headaches still happening from the accident a year ago. You'd think my kids would want to take it easy on me, right? Right?!?

You would be wrong.

My kids spent the last two days hanging from my neck and leaping on my back from as far away as possible. I seriously feel like some kind of human ring-toss game. 

So when Sterling had school this morning, I looked forward to a little recovery time. Instead, she proceeded to hand me my ass in the hour after she came home. And not to be left out of the party, Bennett ramped his game up too.

So when nap time rolled around, the angels were singing.

As I skipped to the laundry room for clean jammies, I gratefully heard little feet tromping upstairs and mentally patted myself on the back. For once, I wouldn't have to finagle a way to lure them upstairs.

My back patting was premature. 

Shocker, I know.  

Yep. I should have known something was up when I didn't hear any giggling as I walked up the stairs. Somehow though, I missed the clue of ominous silence. 

Thus, I was COMPLETELY taken off guard when I walked into Bennett's room and found this. 

Homegirl had climbed up into his changing table, stripped down naked, and proceeded to empty a bottle of EXTREMELY expensive, organic, locally sourced baby cream that I got for Bennett's sensitive skin. 

The little wench had it smeared all over her body, on the walls, along the changing pad, on her stuffed animals and had rained squirts down onto the carpet. 

When she saw me, she gleefully announced "See momma, I got lotion!"  Uh, no shit kid. I couldn't help but notice, thanks. 

So yeah, rather than spending the next 20 minutes on my back with an ice pack on my neck like I should had, instead I was busy scrubbing essential oil lotion off of the floor.