If I Drank Half As Often As I Talked About It, Crap Like This Would Be Funny

I know, I know, you are probably sick to DEATH of "Sterling tore apart her closet again" posts. 

And I say this because I am sick as hell of writing them!

But the less crap she has in her room, the more the mayhem escalates. 

Allow me to explain. You ever have one of those days where you just can't wait to get to the end? One of those days that tests your mettle as an adult?

You know the kind of day I'm talking about, one where you get in fights with people that you love, everything seems determined to piss you off, and it feels like you're constantly swimming upstream.

I had one of those today.

So when the kids finally went to bed, I sighed that universal "I survived it" sigh of relief... about 3 hours too early. 

My kids always go down fully awake, and then putter for a while until they fall sleep. So it's nothing it's new to hear Sterling chatting happily for a while.

What IS strange is to hear dead silence.

So when I heard exactly that tonight, I poked my head into her room in to inspect. 

And this is what I found.

All that furniture in the closet? That's stuffed in there because she's used it at some point to cause mayhem.

Now her room is a stripped bare toddler bunker. And her closet doors are firmly secured by a "child proof lock". I use the quote marks because Sterling regularly unlocks those damn doors. But usually I catch her before she has much time to do unholy mayhem. 


Not tonight though, tonight she had a solid three hours to dump drawers, take stuff off of hangers, and make a general nuisance of herself.

When I opened the door and said "what the hell are you doing", she happily responded "I being naughty Momma. I love you."

Not only is the child diabolical, but she's also incredibly smart.

I spent the next 30 minutes cleaning up the mess while trying to breathe deep so that I wouldn't lose my shit all over the place. And she spent that 30 minutes being as cute as a child can be while concealing their devil horns.

And thus, I drink...

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