Man Teething meets Man Cold: The Perfect Storm

You might have remembered me mentioning the phenomenon of Man Teething. It's like regular teething, but involves a baby man, and so there is a lot of extra whining.

Well this week we have the mother of all colds in our house.

Usually we are crazy healthy.

Outside of my insane bout with post partum preeclampsia, the toxic crazy sinus infection that would not leave and being hit by a car (all last year), we are a super healthy household.

I am dead serious when I say that this was only the second time I have ever taken one of my kids' temperatures. And it was my first go at one of those handy dandy little nose squeegee things (which are pretty damn fun, by the way).

But when we go down, we go down HARD!

Bennett has had this horrible, wet, croupy cough for about 6 days now, and a full accompaniment of nose snot to go with it.

But because he is a baby man, he isn't content to sit limply in my lap and be comforted.

Instead, he has strutted purposefully around all week with his chest out, letting out miserable roars of congested fury, waving his pudgy little fists like a miniature snotty gorilla.

Then, periodically, he comes to crawl all over me, whining and wiping slug trails on my arms.

Heaven forbid I make the mistake of trying to hug him to me, because then he glares at me in pure disgraced fury. His manhood bruised, his ancestors disgraced. And then he stalks off in snotty disgust to plot his revenge.

Good times.

But over the last couple of days things have really ratcheted up to the next level. And when I happened to get a glimpse into the back of B's mouth today, I realized why.

Homeboy is not only suffering from the mother of all colds, but he is concurrently cutting molars.

If you don't have kids, let me explain. Teething sucks. It super sucks. It's hours of whiny, snotty, whiny, whiny snotty fun. With some whining.

And molars are the pinnacle of teething. They can cause bruising, bleeding, and a hell of a lot of whining.

You get the picture?

Add that on top of a horrendous cold, and you have man misery that no amount of baby Tylenol can touch.

Then, last night Bennett started vomiting, which means we have added some new strain into the chest cold he was battling.

Shit.

And homeboy only slows down long enough to puke.

Or whine.

Wonder if anywhere local delivers wine. Or if not, how much baby Tylenol I have to drink to get the same effect...