So yeah, having a kid that is potty trained is totally adding a crimp to my already stellar parenting.
See, Sterling is little. Like super little. So every potty trip requires me to help hold her up so she doesn't fall into the toilet.
Sometimes she is fine without it. But she refuses to use a kiddy seat because she is a Big Kid and all, and has landed in the bowl enough times that its worth it for me to oversee her "progress".
And Bennett uses those opportunities when I am distracted to create mayhem.
I have learned that I have to shut him in the bathroom with us, otherwise he goes and digs into things he shouldn't be in.
Like the garbage.
So now that he is shut in with us, one of his favorite tricks is to sneak a hand behind her and play in the toilet water.
I am constantly playing both the offense of keeping her out of the toilet, and the defense of keeping him out of the same.
So today, after helping Sterling go potty, I shut the lid so Handsy McGee couldn't get in there and fish around while we washed our hands.
In theory. Because evidently that ship was determined to sail. In fact, the harder I work to keep him from fishing, the more determined he is to do it.
In the 30 seconds it took me to wash, home slice staggered on over, snagged Sterling's water bottle, and sent it for a dip while she helpfully observed.
When I yanked him away from the toilet, he hurriedly crammed one soggy little hand into his mouth like a pot head with a Dorito.
Awesome. Can't wait until the next time I forget and kiss that nasty little mouth.
Because no amount of soap can make that all better...