Goth Baby Mayhem

Today I took the monkeys to the botanical gardens to play. We met up with friends, walked for several hours, good times were had by all. And by good times, I mean no one fell until a water fountain or accidentally got maimed in any way.

We were all redfaced and tired at the end of the walk, so it was a success in my book.

At the end of our walk, my friend L and I were in the middle of a important discussion and so we decided to stand in the parking lot and talk little bit more. Our two girls climbed into my car to play.

I made the mistake of thinking "how much trouble could they really get into while we are standing here"... also known as the stupidest assumption in the world.

After a few minutes, my girlfriend L happened to notice that Sterling was covered in some kind of black goo. I still have absolutely no clue what it was, but I do know it was damn hard to get off of both her and the inside of my car.

She had it on her lips, her hands, her arms, her shirt, and when I undressed her for nap, I discovered it was all over her stomach and legs. She looked like the world's youngest Emo/Punk baby.

Then, as I continued to unpack Bennett and the multitudes of crap from our simple outing, Sterling happened to find one of my protein bars and bit through the packaging to get to its gooey, melty goodness.

And spread that bastard EVERYWHERE.

The interior of my car is black so it wasn't until I really started looking that I discovered how much chocolate she had managed to smear. It was a total chocolate wreck.

When I turned the car on, my windshield wipers started flapping frantically and I realized that perhaps the girls played with a few buttons. And as I was driving home, I kept noticing little fun things like that my high beams were on, or that my seat settings were off, or that my radio presets were jacked.

Luckily, I already drink heavily. Because otherwise, this would have driven me to...

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