THIS Is How The Mistress Celebrates

I sometimes think my life would cease to exist if it weren't for all the mayhem.

Like somehow I am a repository for extra mayhem, and therefore I serve a critical purpose in the world.

Case in point, today was my birthday.

All I really wanted for my birthday was a little bit of mellowness to relax and chill.

The day started off interestingly with an orthopedist appointment to figure out how the hell to get over the pain from being hit by a car a few weeks ago.

I have never been to the office before, so I simply went to the address listed on the website.

Super fun fact?

Evidently they have two offices. And I was at the wrong one. The receptionist helpfully explained to me that it happens all the time as she handed me pre-printed directions from a tall stack.

I would think that if this was a common occurrence, your office procedures *might* have some method to ensure new patients knew which one they were going to.

Evidently, I would be wrong.

So after my appointment with Dr. Freezing-Fish-Belly-Cold-Hands, getting my prescription, setting up appointments for physical therapy, and heading home, I was spending a little time trying to unpack our room while Sterling kept me company.

Less than five minutes after we began, Sterling released a piercing shriek of pain. I ran into the master bathroom, and she's standing in the middle of the room, shaking her left hand as huge splatters of blood flew everywhere.

I'm still not certain what she was playing with, but something sliced a deep, half inch divot out of the thumb that she sucks. That means that not only was she in pain and terrified of the blood, but couldn't suck her thumb to calm down.

You can imagine how that worked out.

This will hopefully be the only time you ever hear me say this, but thank god for Caillou. I was able to hold her in my lap and apply pressure while holding her hand above her head to stop the bleeding... all thanks to that creepy little whiny Canadian. And my iPad.

So now we are off to dinner at one of my favorite restaurants, Volt.

Because THAT my friends is how the Mistress Of Mayhem celebrates her birthday. A day of insanity followed by by an incredible dinner.

Oh yeah, and some wine ;-)