It's amazing the difference that sleep makes. Or the lack thereof.
Bennett was born November 28th. And that was the last time I got good sleep. He started off almost immediately getting up every hour to eat, and never stopped.
I quickly became desperate, but his pediatrician repeatedly assured me that this was normal. As the months ground on and we graaaaadddduuually moved to him getting up only every two hours, I slowly degraded.
My husband travels Sunday night through Friday night most weeks. This means that the few nights he is home, he is fried. Hardly in the frame of mind to take over completely to give me a rester. It also means that I was averaging 4 hours of sleep a night, gotten in one hour snatches.
It. Was. AWFUL.
My skin became sallow. I stopped really showering regularly or caring what I wore (sorry to all my friends out there). I made bad, bad choices. And I became an angry, bitter woman.
I always say that I become a different animal between the hours of 3 and 7 a.m. It's amazing how being repeatedly woken up during those hours ate away at my humanity. My girlfriend M told me that sleep deprivation is the CIA's most effective form of torture, and I believe it. After crying (repeatedly) at a play date, I began to realize how deeply I had lost it.
She is the same wise friend that told me "there is a reason that infants don't understand English", which is good because I had some choice words for my boy in those early morning hours.
So four months later, at the end of my rope and completely exhausted, I got sick of my degrading mental state and moved in with my parents. Sounds drastic I am sure, but I was desperate and we were selling our house anyway so it worked out perfectly.
No lie, the VERYFRIGGINNIGHT we moved in and my mom took over the midnight to 6 a.m. shift, that little turkey decided to start sleeping through the night. I shit you not!
It also coincides with me moving him to a new pediatrician that diagnosed him with severe acid reflux, but it's awfully flippin convenient that he just suddenly started sleeping now that I don't have to do it on my own any more :-)
I do have to say, it has made a HUGE difference in my mental state. I won't pretend that I'm exactly "normal", but I will say that I went out shopping tonight, and I put on makeup :-)