iPhone and Flush, Not Two Happy Thoughts Together

I am pretty freaking thankful for this app right here.

This is "Finder", from Apple. Essentially, it enables you to track down your Apple devices.

Pretty damn sweet, huh?

This morning I couldn't find my phone. I'd had it earlier in the morning, so I knew it was somewhere in the house.

"No worries" I confidently thought to myself. I snagged my iPad, pulled up Finder, and tracked it down.

Then I discovered one of the weaknesses of Finder. All it showed was where it generally was in relation to my iPad, somewhere in the Southeastern corner of the house. It didn't tell me which floor.

When you have two little mayhem makers, not knowing which floor leaves a lot of room for guessing.

Bennett loves to run through the house any chance he gets, and we had just come back downstairs for snack time. That meant that my phone could be in the Southeastern corner of three different floors.

No worries, I thought, I will just search each of those floors. Nothing.

I used the compass again, thinking perhaps it would be a little more specific this time. Nothing.

I began tearing apart furniture on each floor in search of it. Nothing.

Sterling and Bennett had been contentedly watching me through all this.

Sterling finally pipes up "Momma, I flush your phone in the potty".

Thinking I had misunderstood, I clarified three different times. Each time, she was insistent that she had flushed it down the potty.

The guest toilet is attached to the playroom, and IS in the Southeastern corner of the house.

And this wasn't my first time at the "flushing crap down the toilet" rodeo. Last time it cost us hundreds of dollars, so I added the cost of a new phone on top of that and immediately broke out into a cold sweat.

Several frantic minutes of jamming my arm down the toilet ensued. They helpfully did their damnedest to fish along with me. It was like wrestling with two little octopi while my left hand was jammed as far into the toilet bowl as it would go.

I flushed the toilet just to see if there was an obstruction, and there wasn't, but Finder IMMEDIATELY showed that my phone had gone offline. Sterling helpfully piped up "uh oh, Momma's phone gone".

A sick feeling in the pit of my stomach started to set in.

I realized I needed a few minutes away from her to regain my composure, otherwise things might get real ugly, real quick.

I was sitting on the stairs with my iPad, trying not to cry, when I saw a nice little feature on Finder which makes your phone beep.

With nothing to lose, I hit it. Immediately there was an answering trill... up in the living room. In the Southeastern corner of the house. Evidently Bennett had snagged my phone at snack time and conveniently stashed it between the seat cushions in the sofa.


So I came back downstairs, and asked Sterling why she said she had flushed my phone. Sterling looks at me, smiles that ornery little smile and says "I funny mama".

I've got several words for her, "funny" ain't one of them...

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