Club Happy Camper

Bennett has two modes:

- Roaming around looking for things he can club, or use to club others over the head with.

- Asleep.

Today he has been in an especially clubby mood. I have been impressed at both the creativity and the diversity of items he has clubbed me with.

And as my pile of toys in "time out" has grown, he has had to get more and more creative.

I have been clubbed with a microphone, a flip flop, a baby bottle, and in an especially dastardly spin, he just came over and whacked me with a plush Ariel doll. Now you might be thinking "a stuffed doll, how much could that really hurt". But he whipped her hair at me with such a fervor that even Willow Smith would be impressed, and it hurt like a bitch!

He has strutted around all morning with his little chest out, bellowing and glaring belligerently at anything that mistakenly made eye contact with him.

Homeboy has been pretty clear about his desire to beat the ever loving shit out of SOMETHING today. He taught that poor rocking horse a lesson earlier that it won't soon forget!

And if he keeps ripping handfuls of hair out of Sterling's head like he has been, we are soon going to have enough to knit a sweater from.

Which leaves me one of a few options. I can:

1. Finally test out that baby straight jacket theory I've been kicking around for a little while.
2. Duct tape his hands together. I figure no opposable thumbs = no ability hold on to clubs.
3. Run away from home. To somewhere tropical. That has a ban on tantrums. And a mandatory four hour nap every day.

Actually, # 3 is sounding better and better...

Unless anyone else can recommend one that I am overlooking?

Ben's tried and true favorite club. Always certain to leave a bruise.

An improvised option, the microphone worked in a pinch. Look at the determination in those eyes. Someone is going to get it...

A sample of the handfuls of hair that Ben keeps pulling out of Sterling's head.

No comments:

Post a Comment