Library Lunacy

We usually are SUPER active, getting out and about almost every day for activities. But I have definitely been slacking the last few months. So this morning, I had the bright idea to take the kids to the library. A little time out and about with other kids, books and toys, sounded like a solid idea.

I should have known better when I pulled into the parking lot and a shrill little voice piped up from the back seat "Oh Craaaaap!" That was my cue, and I totally missed it.

Rookie mistake, won't happen again.

I have mentioned before that Sterling is absolutely HILARIOUS... unless you are the one responsible for her. And then she is hell, pure and simple. This was no exception.

There is nothing worse than looking out at a room buzzing with active, busy little bodies, and realizing that the one pitching the tantrum (or throwing the puzzle, or climbing to the top of the library shelves, or running screaming through the stacks) is yours.

The librarian that was laughing indulgently at Sterling's antics like Glenda the Good Witch at the beginning of the visit? That bitch looked frazzled by the end.

At least I wasn't the only one.

And the panicked expression on her face after I innocently asked what their policy was on children who were left at the premises? A thing of beauty, plain and simple. 

Sterling may have single handedly undone a whole host of previously unchallenged library rules, such as the one allowing a lovely bench in front of the fish tank to let little guys get a better view... or to use said bench as a launch pad to climb on top of the aquarium and drop farm animals in. Purely as an example. Purely.

Or the one that allows kids free access to the book shelves.

The second time I had to help one of the poor librarians pick up a shelf of books because someone ran by and swept them off with her arm pretty much did that one in. The fifth time? I wouldn't be shocked if there is a poster somewhere with our faces and a giant red X somewhere.

Or the rule that left tables in front of the library windows.

Come on now, who DIDN'T know that those made the perfect step up to the windows themselves, where you could work your mojo and practice dance moves for an entire appreciative audience.

Because the other kids and parents were exactly that. A highly appreciative audience. Lots of laughter and clapping.

The whole experience kind of reminded me of that scene from the movie The Bad News Bears (the original one) where a little kid is running around the field, a group of adults is trying to catch him, and the kid is totally kicking their butts and making them look like idiots.

Only I'm sure I looked cooler than the adults in that movie. Definitely.

I think today, it's going to take something stronger than wine...

End Note: In all this, I was not standing back, throwing my hands in the air like a heroine in a telenovela. I was going back and forth between protecting Bennett from getting trampled by the older kids, and peeling Sterling from her perch on top of the library shelves. Thus, no photos of the mayhem today.

Sitting quietly and reading were about the
only things that DIDN'T happen at the library today...

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