Shaken Parent Syndrome

Holy hell, what a train wreck!

You may recall that I was hit by a car while walking about nine months ago. I still have pretty intense headaches from that, and have totally switched my diet to try to address those.

This means that every day for lunch, I eat a green smoothie packed full of anti-inflammatory ingredients. 

Our routine is that I make my shake as the kids are eating lunch, and then I bring it upstairs and set it on top of my dresser while I'm getting them ready for nap. Up until now, that has been a perfectly viable solution. 

I say up until now, because today someone totally blew that routine out of the water. The crappy part is, I'm still not entirely certain how it all went down.

See, usually I take Sterling and put her on the potty, then I go and put Bennett down for nap, I come back to wipe Sterling, and put her in bed. It's a pretty smooth operation. Usually. 

Today, I put Sterling on the potty, and came out to discover B had escaped back downstairs. 

I went down to retrieve him and his handful of contraband crackers. When I got back upstairs, S was waiting for us, stark raving naked. 

She confirmed that she hadn't used the potty, so I put her back on. I was walking back out into the hall to wrangle B when I saw him holding my smoothie bottle. 

He stared up at me in Oh Shit, She Is Gonna WHOOP My Ass terror, threw the shake bottle over his shoulder, and took off in crazy haphazard toddler running. 

My shake went EVERYWHERE. Luckily, it's packed full of puréed stuff like kale, spirulina, and blueberries. You know, stuff that doesn't stain. Oh wait...

What followed was 15 minutes of me on my hands and knees scrubbing frantically at the carpet. 

And while I was trying to keep that lovely  mixture from staining?

B was dipping his crackers into S's toilet bowl and eating them. All I can hope is that she never did get around to peeing. Which seems totally likely, right? Totally. 

The biggest question I am left with is how B got the shake off the top of the dresser in the first place. The dresser is probably a good foot out of his reach, even on his tippiest of tippy toes. Honestly, I doubt S could even reach it, but I'm not *quite* as confident on that one. But of S DID get the shake down, how did B get it? She isn't one to share fun stuff with her brother, ESPECIALLY when it's naughty fun stuff.

So now folks, I got myself a mystery. But I don't see myself re-creating the situation again to figure out how to crack this mystery.  

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