And when I say terrified, I'm talking screaming-trembling-clawing up my leg to get away-irrationally spewing gibberish-full on tears-terrified.
To matter how much PR I do trying to justify their existence by pointing out how helpful they are, she still always wants me to "keel it, Momma".
Which sucks because I have a hard time killing beneficial critters.
And also because they give me the heebie jeebies too.
That's part of the Catch 22 of being a mom. I can't give any indication that I'm also freaked out by bugs, because that will only add fuel to her fear. Instead, I've got to swagger in there confidently and deal with the creepiest of creepy crawlies, as if it's no big deal.
So last night, as we were doing our nightly clean up of the playroom, she started screeching about a spider under the sofa.
Spiffy. Nothing better than hand to hand combat with a creepy crawly in tight quarters.
So I dropped down on all fours to check out my opponent, because there was no chance she was going to calm down until that spider was relocated. The child has eagle eyes when it comes to bug spotting and won't rest until the situation is taken care of.
I searched around, and saw nothing. Crap, so much for trapping this bugger to move him outside. If he's that hidden, he must be in a crevice somewhere.
So I moved closer. Still no spider.
Finally I asked her, "Sterling, WHERE is the spider"
She pointed to the right side of the sofa. "Right there. Ooooh Momma, it's gonna get me!" And then she shivered theatrically.
I searched again. No spider.
"I don't see it. Where?"
"Right THERE Momma, oooooh, I so scared".
I searched a few more moments, and then suddenly a realization hit me like a bucket of cold water.
Wedged under the end of the sofa, about two inches from my nose, was a wooden block... with a picture of a spider on it.
I pulled it out. "Is this the spider you were talking about?"
"Oooooh SCARY spider, don't get me!" And then she covered her mouth with a little hand and began giggling.
"YOU my friend are a turkey!"
"No Momma, I funny."
At least one of us thinks so...
*Yes, I know That spiders aren't insects, but this is a freakin' blog post. So for coherence, I'm referring to anything creepy crawly as a "bug".
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