Turd Day

Some days in parenting are a perfect things of beauty, full of poignant moments and effervescent gossamers of joy.

And then days are loathsome turds that you just barely survive, the kind that leave you battered and exhausted and desperate for wine.

Today we had one of the latter...

Which is why, at 5:30, both of my little angels went down for the night.

See, I am still struggling with a fair amount of pain from being hit by a car two months ago. Every time I push it and do something active, such as take a walk with my kids, I feel it for days after.

Kind of sucks.

Because today would have been a perfect day to take them for a walk.

And forget them somewhere. Hold on now, hear me out!

There are lots of nice neighbors around, I'm sure one of them would have happily taken them in... for an hour or two.

The root of most of my torment is that today they both got extremely short naps.

And whereas Bennett can sometimes weather a short nap day, Sterling cannot, which meant that my little angel proceeded to melt as the afternoon progressed.

By late afternoon, both kids were a little fractious. If you count gnawing on the furniture, screaming and whacking one another with toys as a little. Otherwise, my kids turned into rabid little monsters hell bent on destroying me and everything around them.

After spending some quality time in the Naughty Pen for kicking me, hitting Bennett, spitting in Bennett's face REPEATEDLY and throwing a book that hit me in the head, she proceeded to tantrum the rest of the afternoon.

The culmination of which was taking a heavy plastic play laptop, swinging that puppy over hear head like an Olympian and then throwing it straight at my face. Luckily I have the reflexes of a cat. Maybe an older, highly domestic, slightly senile cat, but still... it meant that my left wrist bore the brunt of the blow rather than my face.

Know what it's like to be trapped inside with a tantruming toddler and a crying baby? If not, let me give you a sense.

Imagine a bull horn, held about 10 inches from your face, spewing a constant stream of shrill shrieks  frequenting the word "NOOOOOOOOO" in escalating octaves. Add flailing limbs, flying toys, and tears, lots and lots of tears. Yep, that gives you a slight sense of what I was working with, and the mindset I am currently in.

Desperation, pure and simple. Like "where is an ice pick so I can poke out my ear drums and put an end to this misery" kind of desperation.

There is a part of me that strongly believes that a tantrum loses some of its impact of you can't hear it. And if it isn't true, at least I have a good excuse to go on a parenting hiatus for a while.

Yeah right. If getting hit by a car didn't get me a parenting hiatus, bleeding ears certainly won't either.

Oh yeah, and that photo below? Taken by my lovely daughter after she went AWOL with my cell phone and I finally chased her down. I think the expression on my face says it all...

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