So today I got together with a new mom's group, a group of ladies who had never met one another before.
I was a bit apprehensive, after sampling a few mom's groups in the past, I have become way too familiar with the undercurrent of competition that seems inherent with these groups and yet I continue to try new ones in hopes that I will find that Holy Grail, a group of similarly minded people who have kids of similar ages who are just as lonely and befuddled by the mom journey as I am.
I had several epiphanies as a result of today's meeting:
1- We are all a little embarrassed when we realize that the same woman who used to rule the board room (namely, us) is now talking in dulcet tones to an infant while said infant screeches at the top of his/her lungs. That same woman is the one who will be dancing with scarves to nursery rhymes at the "Infant Dance Class". Yep, same girl is wearing no fewer than 3 bodily secretions from that infant, and couldn't be happier about it.
2- It isn't that we lose all sense of style once a baby is born and hibernate in slouchy maternity jeans, over-sized sweaters and sneakers (what I have lovingly titled the "Jennifer Garner Uniform"). It's that nothing fabulous in our wardrobe currently fits, and even if it did, it really wouldn't be pragmatic for squatting on the floor to play with a baby. Also, it is amazingly easy for an infant to go fishing in a sexy top and expose more boob than you have shown since college.
3- We all struggle with guilt. The fear that we don't do enough, that we can't be enough, that we are somehow shortchanging our precious bundle because of our all to human weaknesses.
I can't say why exactly, but discovering that I wasn't the only one struggling with these changes somehow comforted me. It's like I suddenly have compatriots on this long, often strange path of parenthood.
Note: this was originally published on 11/4/10, the day that I met some of my greatest friends ever. No, we don't all have the same opinions but we DO share an open mind and a willingness to accept each other as we are, and have become incredibly close ever since that first meeting :-)
Raising our kids together has brought us closer than I ever would have guessed and I feel incredibly lucky to have their friendship.