Nuclear Oatmeal

As much as it makes my heart warm with motherly joy to see my kids sharing a spoonful of oatmeal and all, there is a part of me that shrivels in torment every time most of the bite lands on the floor (what can I say, that second part of me is a little bit dramatic).

The "torment" comes from knowing EXACTLY how hard it is to pry that sticky, incredibly resilient gunk up.

And because my kids have worse accuracy than a drunk frat boy trying to take a piss at spring break, I pry up a lot of oatmeal.

A lot.

Off the floor.

Off the walls.

Off of little hands and faces and out of little noses.

And because Bennett HATES anything that even vaguely resembles hygiene, it inevitably results in a meltdown of epic proportions.

Why feed them oatmeal you ask? Because its supposed to be healthy. And its damn cold out. And oatmeal is one of the 1.5 non crunchy/carb things that Sterling will eat.

So oatmeal it is.

Just gonna have to get myself a nuclear powered, industrial-strength jack hammer. I'm pretty sure the kids have been working on a power source to run it...







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