One of those days that you seriously consider chucking it all and running away from home?
Yep, I'm having one of those days right now.
It all started at about 6 a.m., two hours earlier than Bennett usually wakes up.
No worries, not the end of the world. But I knew that since he had woken up early, he would likely be grumpy today.
And he was.
I had a mountain of laundry to put away, so when we got Sterling up, I turned my back for three seconds while I filled her dresser drawers. Her dresser is still in her closet because she conducts holy mayhem on it, so yes, I had my back to the room.
But considering that I've been a parent for over 3 1/2 years, I also have senses that are hyper tuned to insane levels. So I thought that if Bennett or Sterling did anything naughty behind me, I would hear it.
I was wrong. Shocker, I know.
Somehow, in the three seconds it took me to put away her pants, shirts and socks, Bennett opened the door to my bedroom, snagged my cell phone, crept downstairs to the mudroom and stashed it in a bag of things we were going to donate.
Sterling chatted pleasantly with me the entire time, so I'm guessing it was a team effort.
Once I realized it was missing, I turned to interrogation. Every time I asked Bennett where the phone was, he would cheerfully respond "phone go bye-bye".
Then, when I went to find my iPad to locate the phone using Finder, the iPad was missing. One of our recent guests had helpfully relocated the iPad into the guest bedroom *cough* Nana and Pop Pop *cough*.
I spent the entire morning tearing my house apart looking for either the phone, or the iPad. Finally John came home to help me find them, which was helpful because I was a *bit* frazzled.
After that, I was fully prepared to have an uneventful rest of the morning. Unfortunately, Bennett was not on board with that plan.
As I was preparing lunch, I heard a loud crash. I rushed into the dining room to discover he had pushed a large, rare heirloom begonia off of its perch and was dancing merrily around it yelling "boom". Then moment he saw me, he yelled "oh mama, oh no!" and ran as fast as his fat little legs would take him out of the room.
Know what's awesome? About a gallon of damp potting soil ground into your white carpet by little dancing feet.
Yep.
And Sterling spent the next 10 minutes helpfully pointing out my mess.
I cleaned as much of it up as I could until the soil dries, when Bennett came trotting back in.
He took one look at my work, wagged a finger at me and said "mess, no no no no no".
I'm pretty certain today is officially Margarita Monday. Or Merlot Monday. Or Morgan Monday. I don't really give a shit what it is, as long as it helps me forget this morning…
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