Not So Little Shit

You ever try something, and no matter how hard you work at it, you just suck ass? I mean REALLY suck ass?

Yeah, well my something like that is parenting. No matter what I do or how hard I work at it, my kids continue to hand me my ass. 

Daily. 

Take today for example.

See, Sterling screws around with her bathroom every day. At this point, she has completely disassembled two toilet seats, unhooked and destroyed the sink pluming, taken apart the faucet, and repeatedly flooded the bathroom. 

In an attempt to stop the destruction of her bathroom, I threatened her before nap today that that if she did it again, I would lock her bathroom door so she couldn't get in. 

And over nap, she flooded the bathroom. Again. 

So all afternoon, I warned her that she needed to get herself empty before bed because she would have access to the bathroom tonight. 

I repeatedly took her to the toilet and asked her to go. 

I repeatedly reminded her that she wouldn't have access to the bathroom over night.

And at bedtime, I gave her one last opportunity to go to the bathroom. 

Want to guess what she did less than 20 minutes after she was put down for bed? If you guessed that she shit on one of her toys, then wiped it all over her bed and walls, you win!!!! 

I'm not sure what you win exactly, but it should probably entail you buying me lots of drinks and then driving me home...

So yeah, I suck at motherhood. And choosing punishments. But primarily motherhood. 

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