This May Be Rock Bottom

Screw showering, I have regressed to the point where I can leave the house with baby poop under my fingernails and not realize it.

Imagine driving along in a sleep deprived haze, mindlessly munching on the first thing you have had time to eat all morning. Out of the corner of your eye you notice something under your nails and automatically go to lick the "cracker crumbs" off your finger tips, then stop.

Wait... crackers don't have crumbs that color. And it looks creamy, not crumbly. What IS that? You look closer, still stumped. And then you smell it... the sudden realization of what the hell it is hits like a Mack Truck!

Forget texting, parenting is the ultimate source of distracted driving.

It's kind of like finding a bug crawling on your arm. Even though you know there is only one, you feel them crawling all over you for hours afterward.

I swear that I can now constantly smell baby poop and keep checking my hands to make sure I haven't missed some.

And don't worry, that is just an "artistic representation" :)